


hark! the herald angels sing

by excorde



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, and also i cant think of a better one, day5484849 of missing junbob, did u wish jiwon a happy birthday, go wish him a happy birthday, i was listening to on repeat while writing this, if u think the title is the song, then youre right, yes junhoe im talking to u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-23 11:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17079134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excorde/pseuds/excorde
Summary: in which jiwon finally admitted that he is indeed in love with his best friend, and it took a whole kim hanbin for him to realize. oh, and a christmas tree.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have my most favorite junhoe poem ever and i had it featured in this one story as well and now youre going to see it in here again! apparently this bitch just cant get enough of it.  
> also, bold texts are text messages .

 

**_will you help me put up this christmas tree?_ **

 

seriously.

 

as if jiwon doesnt have enough of these thoughts and feelings to deal with, junhoe pops in and asks him to help him put up a freaking christmas tree.

jiwon had been going through months trying to figure out why it irritates him so much every time junhoe brushes up his hair. or that one time when the said boy had a haircut and jiwon couldnt seem to point out why it was bothering him. or why junhoe's smiles disgusts him. why junhoe had been more annoying than he normally was these past few days. and why he cant seem to get junhoe off his damn mind. even when he's not around.

 _especially_ when he's not around.

 

**_since when do you celebrate christmas?_ **

****

**_jiwon, i've been a catholic since the day i was baptized._ **

****

**_no shit sherlock._ **

****

**_pleaseeeee?_ **

 

jiwon blinks at his phone screen, the pleading word appearing to be clawing at him in junhoe's tone. just thinking about junhoe begging for him to help him sends this lurch in his chest, a strange feeling jiwon couldn’t even deny to himself anymore since he’s been getting them a lot these past few weeks.

he thinks about what it would be like to put up a christmas tree with junhoe. knowing junhoe, it wouldn't be as easy. he can already picture it - junhoe taking a lot of time trying to figure out which part of the tree connects with which, and when jiwon tries to tell him it's done this way, junhoe wouldnt agree and goes with whatever he wants to do. jiwon could be hanging up some christmas balls and junhoe would eventually take them away saying the color doesnt really complement the rest of the decor he just put. oh, the frustrations. just imagning all those makes jiwon want to pull all of his hair out.

 

**_i cant_ **

 

jiwon regrets sending the message as soon as he hit send. he starts to wonder if he was being too straightforward, not even taking into consideration about what junhoe might feel with his upfront rejection.   

 

**_ok then i guess i'll just ask hanbin_ **

 

and he’s taking it pretty well apparently.

 _hanbin_. kim hanbin.

although jiwon couldnt help but notice that junhoe runs off to option no. 2 aka kim hanbin every time jiwon says no to whatever junhoe says, he doesnt find hanbin as a threat to their unfaltering friendship.

besides, the two are not even as close as junhoe and jiwon are. compared to junhoe and jiwon who are bona fide best friends who sees one another everyday and manages to put up with each other despite the reciprocal annoyance between them 90 % of the time they are together, hanbin and junhoe are only drama club buddies.

and choir buddies.

and karaoke buddies, and poetry buddies, and drinking buddies and _blah bla bla blah blahhdj FUCK!!_

now that jiwon thinks about it, hanbin and junhoe do have a lot in common. probably more than he and junhoe has.

the only advantage jiwon has is that he knew junhoe first and had been with him the longest.

jiwon imagines hanbin and junhoe putting up the stupid tree together. junhoe taking a lot of time trying to figure out which part of the tree connects with which. and when hanbin tries to tell him it's done this way, junhoe WOULD AGREE and they'd help each other with their arms brushing against each other and everything. hanbin could be hanging up some christmas balls and junhoe would say that they look nice with the rest of the decor that junhoe just put EVEN THOUGH IT ACTUALLY DOESNT. and god, what if they have a mistletoe lying around and that mf hanbin hangs it up just so he can-

 

**_junhoe do u perhaps have a mistletoe??_ **

****

**_a what?_ **

 

jiwon groans into his pillow and wills himself to stop thinking. he convinces himself that it's okay. it's okay. there is nothing to worry about. except for the raging emotions rising up in his chest, everything else is brilliant.

jiwon suddenly sits up when he felt the need to pour all the thoughts and feelings threatening to spill out of him into the notebook.

that’s what jiwon likes to call it. the notebook. even though anyone laying eyes on it for the first time can immediately tell it’s a diary.

writing your thoughts down on a daily basis? diary. listing down all the things that bothered you and why you cant seem to get this one guy off your mind? diary. trying to figure out your feelings by writing it all down? a fucking diary.

but jiwon tells himself that he is a 23 year old man, and 23 year old men DO NOT write in diaries.

and so goes his first entry:

 

_just to be clear, this isn’t a diary. apparently my mind has overflowed with thoughts and im making this notebook as an extra storage for all that shit. i feel like if I write my thoughts down it would help me put them all in order._

he grabs for the notebook then flips through the pages, convincing himself that maybe things will make much more sense now that he has written everything down in his own handwriting.

he stops at this page where he had written down one of junhoe’s many poems. 

the first time jiwon read it, the poem had sent him feelings that lingered way too long for his own liking. it was no doubt his favorite out of all junhoe's poems, despite it being short compared to the rest of what junhoe has written.

but that wasnt why jiwon wrote it down on his notebook.

the lingering feelings were more than just feelings. they were thoughts that bothered him for several days, trying to figure out how junhoe, his goofy dumb best friend has even thought of something so _sentimental_ and _romantic_.

jiwon reads the poem again:

 

_person, love_

_you are my love_

_so be my person_

 

he keeps staring down at it, the words making less and less sense to him the longer he gazes at them. at the bottom of the poem, jiwon wrote a question addressed to no one in particular, but it was the type of question that he wants to shout at the edge of the cliff, wanting for the whole world to hear, in hopes someone at the other side of the globe would casually come up to him and give him an answer.

 

_is junhoe in love?_

the next page has only one sentence in it, and it isn’t even a question but jiwon still feels the need to dig up for an answer somewhere.

 

_junhoe is not talking to me today and i dont know why_

 

jiwon remembers flooding junhoe with text messages that day. he remembers waiting for junhoe at the cafeteria, leaving his meal untouched before junhoe arrives, only ending up with a dry reply that junhoe was skipping lunch for a lab report they had to finish.

jiwon remembers trying to get junhoe to tell him about his favorite anime series, to which junhoe replied with, “i’m not in the mood for anime today, jiwon.”

and that’s such a big fat lie because junhoe is always into anime.

jiwon also remembers asking junhoe if he wants to go get some ice cream with him. but junhoe declined even if jiwon offered that it was going to be his treat.

junhoe never looked him in the eye that day. and up until now, jiwon still has no idea why.

 

_today's mission is to make junhoe smile_

 

jiwon had written this a day after that previous entry. he had written it down first thing after waking up in the morning, and jiwon was more than determined to put junhoe's smile back on his face.

it's funny how he always complains about how junhoe’s laughter irks him a lot but misses it almost immediately after being deprived of it for only a day.

jiwon did almost everything. he cracked lame jokes. he made faces. he tried to tell an embarrassing moment he had gone through when he was 13. he showed junhoe memes and vines and funny videos - literally anything you can think of.

junhoe did crack some smiles here and there, but it wasnt the type of smile that jiwon was aiming for. it just wasnt enough.

jiwon thought he had lost all hope when junhoe suddenly walked out on him at the café when jiwon didnt seem to have any plan on stopping from his weird face making.

jiwon naturally had to run after him, and it had gone quite smoothly, only until jiwon had tripped on his own feet and fell face down on the ground.

it was jiwon’s moment of victory, because when he looked up, junhoe was already laughing, eyes wrinkling and mouth stretching in the accustomed grin that jiwon had always adored.  

and though dropping on the ground was supposed to hurt, but at that moment, it actually made jiwon feel really good. and if all that would take junhoe to light up just like he did, jiwon was willing to fall again and again and again.

 

_junhoe went to hanbin's place today. maybe his poems are for him_

 

jiwon does not even understand why he had this written down. every time he gets to this page, it just keeps reminding him about that day he doesn’t even want to think about. without having second thoughts, he rips the page off from the notebook.

 

_kim donghyuk followed junhoe on instagram_

 

kim donghyuk is jiwon and junhoe's _"shared"_ crush. they fight about him all the time, always trying to get the other one envious about the fact that donghyuk has _glanced_ at him today.

it's just a silly crush for the both of them. neither of them even know donghyuk personally. so again, jiwon asks, why? why is he letting these kind of petty things even bother him?

jiwon had felt junhoe’s shrill excitement through that one text message alone.

 

**_JIWON JFFJKL OMG KIM DONGHYUK JUST FOLLOWED ME ON IG????_ **

 

and for some reason he couldn’t quite fathom, jiwon had typed in a reply in a fit of pique.

 

**_he followed me too u aint special_ **

 

jiwon didnt just say that to make the both of them even. donghyuk really did follow him too, and though it sent his heart soaring for a flicker of a moment, jiwon just doesn’t understand why junhoe has to dwell on it so much.

 

_i love donghyuk,, but_

jiwon had left the sentence just like that, hanging. he did it on purpose, and he isn’t planning to finish it off anytime sooner.

jiwon reaches a blank page, and finally writes down the one thing that triggered him to pick up this damn notebook today.

 

_junhoe asked me to help him put up a christmas tree_

 

the whole phrase looks nonsensical written in that way. so jiwon decides to add some more words just so he can look back at this someday and realize that there was more to the story than just the christmas tree. he was starting with _fucking hanbin_ , when he notices that he had skipped a page and missed this one entry that had actually dealt him more confusion than all of the rest combined.

 

_junhoe asked me something today_

 

jiwon remembers that day vividly as if it was only yesterday. junhoe does that sometimes - asking random questions out of the blue. they can be in a middle of a meal, or watching tv, or in the bus on the way home, sometimes even in the middle of a serious conversation, making the atmosphere less heavier. that time, though, it was the other way around. jiwon was just recovering from his fits of laughter from something junhoe just said when the latter suddenly blurted out the question.

"jiwon, what do you think is the difference between love and being _in love_?"

jiwon remembered pausing to stare at junhoe dead in the eye just to check if he was joking. the sudden question undoubtedly had caught him off guard but junhoe's deadpan expression was dealing him worse.

jiwon fidgeted in his seat as he tried to decide whether a joking answer would be better than a serious one. he went with the former, to which he had wished almost immediately to take back because the way junhoe reacted to his response indicated that he was actually expecting a more formal answer.

now, jiwon tries if he can come up with a better answer than the half-assed one he gave junhoe before.

“love.” he speaks out loud into the air, tasting the word in his mouth. “love is…”

jiwon feels his brows knitting as he tries to think. while junhoe had always been a man with depth, jiwon on the other hand, is always just floating above the surface.

love is love. being in love is still love. theyre basically the same thing.

aren’t they?

jiwon grunts in frustration because as much as he wills his mind to cooperate and work with him right now, it was instead wandering off to other things.

things like junhoe. and junhoe’s smile. and junhoe’s eyes. and junhoe’s hair. and the next thing he knew, he is back to thinking about why it irritates him every time junhoe brushes up his hair. or why junhoe's smiles disgusts him. or why junhoe had been more annoying than he normally was these past few days. and why he cant seem to get junhoe off his mind. and why he cant seem to calm his ass with the thought of hanbin kissing junhoe under a stupid mistletoe.

jiwon sits on his bed, his eyes losing focus as he stares at an empty space. it didn’t click all at once like how it does to most people. every thought came to him like the little bastards actually planned to queue up and punch him in the gut one by one with the same obvious conclusion.

maybe it’s just that.  

he is fucked, plain and simple.

and it took him almost a month, several diary entries, a whole kim hanbin and one christmas tree to figure it all out.

"shit." jiwon cries as it somehow just dawns on him that everything he imagined with junhoe and hanbin putting up the christmas tree together will definitely happen if he doesnt act on it now.

and he doesn’t want that. not in this Christmas. or the next year’s. or the following years, if jiwon has to be precise.  

he feels his heart hammering quite obnoxiously in his chest as he scrambles around for his phone. the feeling wasn’t at all unfamiliar, and jiwon knows he has to get used to it by now, because he was sure as hell was going to get a lot of those from now on.

jiwon exhales a deep breath of air as he finally hits send.  

 

**_can i still help you with that christmas tree?_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasnt really feeling this so plz excuse my mistakes!! uwu

_we put the whole tree up in silence and the whole time i think i was gonna die_  
_since when did junhoe and i become this awkward????_

jiwon is ready to head back home and write those same words that had been running on his mind in his notebook.

he believes it had been approximately thirty minutes since he arrived in junhoe's apartment. you can say things had gone pretty well thus far, except it hadnt. technically, everything actually went okay. but not perfect. or not as jiwon expected it to be, because all of a sudden, nothing is the same as it was anymore.

suddenly, the silence is deafening. the subtle smiles are awkward. the slight brushing of their shoulders are a big deal. they were more than enough to drive jiwon a little crazy.

they stood at either sides of the christmas tree, hanging up some ornaments from a big box that is placed between them. sometimes theyd reach inside the box at the same time and theyd look at each other and exchange goofy yet uneasy smiles. sometimes junhoe would hum some classic melody jiwon only partly recognizes. sometimes jiwon would tilt his head a little away from the tree, taking a peek to look at junhoe. and sometimes, junhoe could feel the stare boring into him, and he would look up, only to make jiwon turn away. sometimes junhoe pretends he doesnt feel jiwon staring, and just lets him be.

they havent really talked about anything. and that's fine, because silence with junhoe had always been comfortable. but why is jiwon suddenly feeling so weird about it now?

jiwon is trying to figure out the whole time why he cant seem to pick up a casual conversation with junhoe, and why junhoe isnt trying to initiate one as well.

the truth is, junhoe has. junhoe teased him as soon as he opened the door for him, telling him that he changes his mind just as much as junhoe's sister does when she tries to decide on an outfit. junhoe had asked him about his plan for christmas. junhoe had asked him if he watched the new anime episode they were both watching. and jiwon had halfheartedly responded to everything, making it obvious that there is something lurking in his mind (and heart) that he keeps letting them bother him.

in other words, they arent becoming awkward.

it's all just jiwon.

jiwon snaps out of his trance when junhoe suddenly pops his head out from the other side of the tree.

junhoe catches jiwon's startled expression and laughs. the sound of junhoe's chuckles warms the entire room, and as jiwon feels the smile creeping on his face as well, he realizes that there's also this other thing - something inside him - that has also been filled with warmth.

"can you pass me that box over there?"

jiwon follows to where junhoe points and spots a box from across the room. it contains more ornaments and untangled christmas lights. tons of christmas lights. jiwon lifts the box up and makes his way back to junhoe when he suddenly spots something at the bottom of the tree that makes him stop on his tracks.

before jiwon can even fully recognize what it is, a knock comes on the front door, making both jiwon and junhoe freeze on their spots as they stare at the door expectantly. the doorknob turns a few times, as if whoever is at the other side is only learning how to use it. and when the door finally swings open and a shivering kim hanbin blinks at them holding two cups of takeaway coffee in each hand, jiwon turns to look at junhoe, waiting for an explanation.

"uhh.." hanbin starts, glancing from junhoe to jiwon and then back to junhoe again.

jiwon catches junhoe mouthing indecipherable words to the man by the doorway, and jiwon pretends not to see as he bends over to put down the box he is still holding.

"arent you going to ask your friend to come in?" jiwon mumbles towards junhoe, when he noticed that the two seem to have no plan on quitting their little game of _exchange of meaningful looks and purposely leave jiwon out of it._

that ticked jiwon a little bit. he isnt even going to deny it.

"actually i - i just - im just dropping these off," hanbin stammers as he raises both coffees, "junhoe asked me to drop these off to you guys since i was on my way anyway."

jiwon doesnt know hanbin that much to tell if hanbin is lying. but the guy is so bad at it that jiwon realizes that he doesnt need to know him well to know that he is indeed lying.

hanbin sets the cups on the shelf where junhoe places his keys. jiwon doesnt even realize that he had been staring the whole time because hanbin flinches the moment their eyes met.

"im not staying!" hanbin quickly adds, waving his hands to emphasize his statement.

from behind him, jiwon hears junhoe let out an exasperated sigh. it was the kind of sigh junhoe does when jiwon does something stupid and junhoe just wants to revoke their friendship.

this time, jiwon believes it is because he actually wants hanbin to stay.

jiwon starts, "it's okay, you can stay-"

"i'll get going now. see you guys!" hanbin interrupts in a much louder voice as he makes his way out the door. before any of them can even protest, hanbin has already shut the door behind him.

junhoe dives into the box jiwon just settled on the floor, acting like hanbin didnt just barge into them in the middle of decorating a christmas tree.

"so you did invite him over?" jiwon speaks up, watching as junhoe tries to untangle these wires of christmas lights.

"you did say you couldnt go, so..."

jiwon takes the other end of the wire and decides to help him, and the silence falls once again.

so junhoe did invite hanbin to help him after jiwon rejected him. and if jiwon didnt change his mind, the one doing all these with junhoe wouldnt be him.

it would be hanbin listening to junhoe's outbursts of random melodies. it would be hanbin stealing glances at him. it would be hanbin lifting stupid boxes for him. it would be hanbin watching him smile. it would be hanbin hanging ornaments with junhoe. and it would be hanbin spotting the mistletoe under the tree.

and the mf could hang it up somewhere just so he can -

jiwon takes heavy steps towards the tree to kick the mistletoe and send it flying across the room.  
junhoe looks at him like he just furiously kicked a mistletoe for no reason.

"what did that poor thing ever do to you?"

jiwon sighs and shakes his head, feeling a little embarrassed that junhoe has seen him take out his rage on a mistletoe. he doesnt even have a good enough reason to explain why he's getting so worked up. "nothing."

to his relief, junhoe decides to let it go as he moves to wrap the tree around with the christmas light, going in a circle around it once, twice, thrice...

"junhoe." jiwon calls as junhoe finally bends over to plug in the lights.

"hmm?"

"remember that question you asked me when we were at the cafeteria?"

"what question?"

before jiwon could even reply, the room swirls with flashes of green, red, blue, and purple. and junhoe turns to him with utmost joy in his eyes. junhoe giggles and comments something about the lights. jiwon isnt really listening. the colors keep flashing on junhoe's face and jiwon is too busy memorizing every bit of that exact moment in his mind.

junhoe turns towards the tree and observes it from a close distance. jiwon observes him observing the tree from a farther distance. junhoe scratches the bridge of his nose as he says something along the lines of 'it's really ugly'.

jiwon can feel the words itching to come out of his mouth. they are right there, at the tip of his tongue, and jiwon swears he was one _junhoe grin_ away from spilling all his feelings right there.

all jiwon has to do is to say it.

maybe if he is to be honest now, he doesnt have to worry about some other guy trying to take junhoe away from him. that way, he doesnt need to kick helpless mistletoes and get so grumpy about them.

but jiwon falters, hesitates when junhoe suddenly calls him an idiot for placing an ornament upside down.

what if that's all jiwon would ever be to junhoe? an idiot. his idiot best friend.

if jiwon speaks now, if jiwon _confesses_ now,  it's only either going to make it or break _it_.

jiwon thinks he couldnt risk breaking what they already have - the friendship and everything else that they have established ever since. and he's willing to let go of whatever possibility there is if they were ever going to _make it_.

"jiwon."

jiwon looks up from his shoes when junhoe calls his name.

"are you okay?" a deep frown is etched on junhoe's face. jiwon cant tell if he's worried or annoyed that jiwon has yet again spaced out.

"yeah, i was just thinking."

"is it the question you mentioned a while ago?"

"what?"

junhoe unplugs the lights and the room returns to its original dim light illuminated from the ceiling.

"what question was it again?" junhoe asks as he takes another batch of lights from the box. jiwon only scratches his head, hesitating as he watches junhoe move from one spot on the room to another. "the difference between love and in love?"

junhoe chuckles, and jiwon flushes a deep red because he feels like junhoe is making fun of him for remembering something so corny. the question probably meant nothing to junhoe.

"that stuck on you, huh?"

"not really. i just remembered it." jiwon lies, and then an idea pops into his mind.

"actually," jiwon continues, his voice gaining the much needed confidence he was searching for ever since he arrived in junhoe's apartment. "i was wondering how you came up with the question."

junhoe is done replacing the first roll of christmas lights with the second one, and before plugging them in, he shrugs saying, "no reason. it just came to me."

jiwon is in the middle of deciding whether to believe him or not, when jiwon's phone beeps on the shelf by the door, the same shelf where hanbin placed the now cold coffees.

jiwon heads over immediately, missing the moment when junhoe parts his mouth to say something, but eventually balks when jiwon walks away.

there are no new messages on jiwon's phone and he stays there staring at it rather stupidly for a moment when he notices junhoe's phone just beside his, and that is when he realizes that it was junhoe's phone that beeped all along.

"oh junhoe, it's-"

junhoe's phone screen is still flashing the two messages he just received and jiwon tries so hard not to look at them.

but the messages lay there in all their glory, as if luring jiwon to read what they say.

the texts are from hanbin, and as if jiwon wasnt just kicking some mistletoe because of the guy 10 minutes earlier, a smile forms on jiwon's face as he looks down at the phone, and junhoe catches him.

"what?" junhoe asks.

jiwon just shakes his head and turns to look at junhoe, still waiting for him to explain what he has called him for.

jiwon laughs at the cute frown on junhoe's face and shakes his head again. "it's nothing." jiwon insists, then reaches for the light switch near the shelf. jiwon switches the light off on the ceiling, and they both stare at the tree they both put together.

the new lights around the tree are a whole lot better now, flashing a gold color in a slow interval, like eyes blinking slowly.

junhoe stares at the tree with his back against jiwon, and jiwon can guess that the boy is also mesmerized by the dancing lights and the glitters from the tree. jiwon makes his way beside junhoe, stopping short at where their shoulders touch.

"junhoe."

"hmm?"

*

_"the difference between love and being in love?"_

junhoe laughed at that moment not because he was making fun of jiwon for remembering something so irrelevant and ridiculous from a long time ago.

the laugh that came out of him was more nervous than humorous, and the first thing that popped into his mind was 'oh shit he remembered that'.

junhoe and jiwon were seated across each other at the cafeteria and had only just finished their meals. one of the best things about eating together are the crazy conversations that followed right after.

junhoe was sharing this story about his 7 yr old cousin during his math exam, when his eyes trailed past jiwon's shoulder, spotting kim donghyuk with his friends a couple of tables away from them.

"-and my cousin was relying on the multiplication table on his pencil case the whole time-"

junhoe was having the best view of donghyuk's side profile. it was as if god has put them there for a reason. and he had been switching his gaze from donghyuk to jiwon's eyes as he continued with the story.

"-but he left 5 x 1 blank. and i asked him why did you leave it blank tony it's just 5 x 1, and then-"

donghyuk suddenly threw his head back as he started to laugh, the sound ringing in junhoe's ears.

junhoe's gaze lingered on donghyuk as he finished,

"-he said, it's because the multiplication table only had 1x5."

and then junhoe heard another round of laughter, closer and louder, and much much more captivating.

as if only remembering that jiwon was there, junhoe fixed his gaze at his best friend. junhoe remembers the feeling as if he had just woken up and he was trying to figure out who he was, or who's the chuckling guy with pretty eyes in front of him was.

it's not like jiwon laughed so differently that time. it was still the same nose crunching, voice cackling kind of laugh, but something about it took junhoe's breath away.

junhoe glanced at donghyuk again, and then back at jiwon, noting how both men had been giving him the same kind of feelings but at the same time, it was also very different. and then just like that, everything started to make sense.

"jiwon, what do you think is the difference between love and being in love?"

junhoe still remembers how jiwon's expression transitioned from laughing, to confused, and then finally to frowning.

junhoe didnt ask it to pry an answer out of him. junhoe asked it because he was supposed to follow the question with his own answer. junhoe was ready to say it. he was about to say all of it.

_"love is when my mom makes me my favorite dish even if i come home with a failing grade, love is when you laugh at my jokes, love is when kim donghyuk sits beside me in class and i just want to scream for a million years because he smells so damn good._

_and being in love is when you come over immediately after i tell you that im sick. and that one time when you stayed up with me all night helping me with my calc homework. and at this exact moment when you just laughed out loud and it didnt only make me wanna scream for a million years, it also made me feel some type of way._

_love is when i start to feel this fuzzy thing in my chest but eventually, it fades away. being in love is when i feel that same fuzzy feeling but instead of fading away, it lingers. it lingers and it stays. and when i sit here staring at you, realizing that youre everything being in love ever is, all i could think of is, woah. okay. okay."_

*

for the first time since jiwon's first entry on his notebook, he thinks he can actually fill up an entire page now. maybe even more.  
he's over the moon. he feels like he could dance, and he doesnt even dance. there are a lot of things he wants to write down, a lot of things he wants to tell to his mom, to his dad, to his brother, to his nephew - anyone ,everyone.

jiwon just wants to scream.

there's also a lot of things he's grateful to, and on top of the list is kim hanbin and that christmas tree.

because when jiwon doubted that it was all going to break it, they made him realize that it wouldnt. they were his trigger to go for it. and he did. he went for it , and it did nothing but make it.

*

**from kim hanbin:**

**junhoe, it took us almost half an hour to put that tree together**

**did u really disassemble everything just to do it all again with bobby????**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas!!!


End file.
